To my friends on LOVE DAY… and some tunes

On this particular holiday many are left feeling overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, happy or sad. Whichever way your V Day went, just remember, it’s one day. It ain’t gonna change your life. Unless your significant other proposed, then congrats! I usually don’t react to Valentine’s day that much, but today I definitely woke up on the right side of the bed and feel like leaving small hearts everywhere. So I’m going to keep this simple and short and address those that are currently closest to me here in Vancouver, cause they deserve to know someone cares, and someone loves them. And what better way than to announce it in public on this particular day!

You know you love me, xoxo, GOSSIP GIRL.

Alexis – I love you because you remind me to keep the fire in my belly alive, and to never take shit from anyone.

Caely-ann – I love you because you are my family.

Sean – I love you because you will always pick up at 4 am, you never sweat the small stuff with me, and you only ever let me be me.

Jordan – I love you because you make those around you feel special, loved and cared for, when you don’t even realize just how special you are.

Drew – I love you because there is nothing better than having that friend you have an infinite amount of inside jokes with that never, ever get old. Thank you for making me truly laugh on a regular basis.

Byron – I love you cause you are the ying to my yang.

Franz – I love you cause I love you, even when you are scary morning ‘I’ve had no coffee’ Franz. That much. TRULY. MADLY. DEEPLY.

TUNES FOR YOUR DAY OF LOVE OR HATE

Needing/Getting by Ok Go

This video went viral last week, for good reason because it’s tremendous, but the song on its own is spectacular. What raw and honest lyrics. Love the way lead singer Damon gets through this with just the right amount of cool anger towards the person he sings about, and himself, on gem lines like:

“there ain’t much that’s dumber than pinning your hopes on a change in another”

“Needing is one thing, and getting’s another”

“it don’t get much dumber, than trying to forget a girl when you love her”

Simple but down to the point, and the fierce, organized chaos that is the solo turning into an interlude, finishing with a calmed down and sad closure of wallowing lyrics of “When? Why not now? Why not me?” is perfection.

Royalty by Down With Webster

Are these the same dudes that have been releasing mediocre pop songs that only get played in Canada? I like this darker more slick side of them. They’re obviously going for a certain vibe here, and succeed. Sad party girls are always sad, let them have their songs. So girls, kick off your heels at the end of the night and let your head spin, this anthem is for you.

Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings by Father John Misty

Ever feel lonely for no good reason and you have no idea why? That mystical sadness that can wash over you from out of nowhere and beat your heart up? This is the song for it. Absolutely necessary. This band needs to release more songs ASAP. Hits you in the chest.

We are Young by fun. ft. Janelle Monae

My dance teacher used this last week for choreography and it was very different. It starts off pretty unimpressive and then turns into 3 different songs, one getting more awesome than the next. It might need a few listens to grow on you, but once it does, you will feel like it’s the anthem of your mid-twenties.

“Maybe we could find new ways to fall apart
But our friends are back
So let’s raise a toast
‘Cause I found someone to carry me home

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun”

All Is Not Lost by Ok Go

Clearly I’m on an Ok Go binge, but this is another underrated gem of them. All is never not lost indeed.

Orange Puke

In the spirit of Halloween, I’m going to pull out a story I vowed to my best friend Genevieve to never tell since it happened, because it was one of the most embarrassing moments of her life. But it’s been over 10 years and she’s a new mom, so I feel like life has moved on long enough for us to look back and laugh our asses off. Plus it involves the colour orange so, FESTIVE!

Back in the 8th grade at the tender age of 14, Gen and I were both enjoying our lunches in the cafeteria, which consisted of cheap slices of pepperoni pizza and for Gen that day, a healthy amount of orange Crush soda. Gen was guzzling it back to achieve the ultimate sugar rush for our third period History class that was starting in 5 minutes, in which we had the all important end of term exam.

Spoiler alert: the colour that never fades.

Both of us were lazy fucks in high school, actually sorry Gen was a better student then me because she was a) smarter and b) more driven. Because of our habit of procrastination, the situation we were currently in, which involved trying to learn 20 pages of our text-book by heart, eat our pizza and pound back the soda in under 5 minutes, was typical. Despite her tiny frame (and she really was), Gen could pound back obscene amounts of sugar. Her addiction to Oh Henry bars from 1999 to 2003 was staggering and frightening. That being said, even I knew that her combo of orange Crush and pizza had the potential to be unsettling. The bell rang and we packed all our shit and ran up the 3 flights of stairs to our class. Of course everyone was immediately seated and the test promptly started since it was government operated. I sighed and began filing out those stupid scan cards with the best of my knowledge for the exam. Did the Greeks prefer music or talk of philosophy as education? Jesus fucking Christ. Lets go with D, all of the above. It’s a wonder I passed History with a 75% average. No idea how that happened. About 20 minutes in, I decided to take a break. I put my 0.5 mm lead pencil down and followed my first instinct, which was to turn around and see how Gen was doing. To my surprise, she was staring right at me with a look of sheer terror in her eyes. I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion at her. Her expression did not change. She was focusing on something while staring directly at me. I mouthed “are you okay?” to her, but she did not budge. It was deathly silent. All you heard was the scratching of pencils. Then, suddenly, horribly, it happened.

Gen bolted upright to stand, her hands gripping both sides of her desk. Before anyone could react and turn around from the screeching of her chair against the floor, I witnessed it. The stream of orange pizza puke that pissed through her hands that were now clamped over her mouth. My jaw dropped. This all happened in 0.2 seconds flat. But what made everyone take note was the extremely unfortunate sound that followed.

The splatter of puke on the floor.

You know that sound. It’s awful. And in the silent exam room it felt like a fire drill exploded. Every student raised their head at the same time and turned to Gen, who was now losing the battle of keeping the puke in her hand contained. No, it further exploded onto the ground. Roger, this weasel of a kid at the time who sat beside me, made the entire situation worse by yelling “OH MY GOD IT’S ORANGE” which was met with a chorus of “EWWWWWWW!!!!”. Despite this being my best friend, I was a fucking asshole and burst out laughing. Jo, my other BFF in class was slightly more horrified then me but was too speechless and stunned to attempt and comfort her. In a swoop of a second Gen was out the door, leaving a trail of orange puke to the door. Our grumpy teacher quickly told us to calm down and get back to our tests. Roger and I were fighting back tears of laughter to remain silent and focus on our test. But we kept side-eyeing each other and cracking up. Our demise came when after 5 minutes where everyone had fully regained focus to their test, our teacher brought out a spray bottle of Windex and attempted to clean up Gen’s leftovers. All your heard was “spritz…. spritz…” and it was enough for us to lose it again. How any of us passed that test, we will never know. But it was one of those classic straight-out-of-a-teen movie scene that was drunkenly retold at many parties to the delight of others. Gen’s story finally got over-ruled though when a friend of ours miraculously, and without spillage, drunk puked into a glass once while sitting at a table. Then the orange puke story faded away, only to be remembered by me today. And it still makes me laugh.

Sorry Gen, I had to.

This post brought to you be geek Julia and Gen at Disneyland circa 2003.

Dad joke "WHO TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS?"