So I’m on this detox. And I’m failing. I mean not in a “oh let me just eat this Twix bar while no one is watching” kind of way, but I have definitely cheated. This detox is the Wild Rose Cleanse, in which you take these herbal pills twice a day that help cleanse your colon and you are forced to basically eat healthy, cause you are not allowed wheat, dairy, yeast and sugar in your diet. You can have protein, just not red meat and shellfish. So it’s a train of salads, brown rice cakes, none tropical fruit, chicken with steamed veggies and almond butter. It’s not that bad actually, you’re not starving or anything, it just gets a little bland sometimes. Oh sorry did I mention YOU CAN’T DRINK. FOR 12 DAYS. I make this sound like it’s the end of the world, but it is for me. Alcoholism level 10.
I’ve cheated the following ways:
My sushi take-out order was messed up and when I opened my box at home, instead of sashimi, I had a california roll with glorious crab meat and sticky white rice. I ate it.
I baked some cupcakes for a Wes Anderson marathon I held on Saturday. As I watched my friends chomp away I could only laugh at myself, did I really think I was going to sit back and watch them eat all my fluffy iced vanilla delicatessen? Fuck no. I had one.
After the marathon, Alexis, Sean and myself decided to check out an event called Radfest. I don’t really know what we were expecting, but we definitely didn’t expect to wander through the maze of an art studio into the basement where various lasers and strobe lights were helping a handful of drunk/high people immerse in a giant dance party. Complete with gorilla masks. I lasted a minute before I bee-lined for a vodka soda. Hey, the diet said I can’t have anything FERMENTED. Vodka is DISTILLED is it not? Plus it comes from potatoes. I’m allowed to have potatoes. STOP JUDGING ME.
Okay so I cheated 3 times. Listen, I did this cleanse 2 times, both very succesful. As in I completely debloat and feel focused. I can sleep properly at night and don’t feel like a giant bag of bricks getting up in the morning. I really needed this detox after the excess that was this summer. But I’m kind of ashamed that I couldn’t do 12 days without drinking. Granted a couple of vodka sodas half way in won’t be the death of the cleanse, but still… is this my life? Have I finally reached that level where if I don’t have a drink for a week my eye starts to twitch and I can’t be around people? To be continued. Four more days to go. I can’t wait for a cold beer and a plate of pasta.
Before I begin a list of tunes that have sparked my fancy this week, I just want to take a moment to thank the Emmy awards for finally recognizing Friday Night Lights. This wonderful show ended this year after 5 glorious season of amazing writing, acting and directing. It’s seriously my favourite show and the kind of television I strive to write for. Do yourself a favour and put it on the top of your “shows I need to check out” list. You won’t regret it. Kyle Chandler finally got Lead Actor, which is so amazing I can’t even talk about it, and Jason Katims finally got his long over-due award for writing. Katims, please let me intern for you. Please?
TUNES OF DA WEEK
Is that fall I hear approaching? Me thinks so. I dig it. So… some pre-fall tunes.
Vicious Traditions by The Veils
Yeah I got this on repeat. Something very simplistic, utterly depressing, yet strangely uplifting. “Well fight your way out of this one”. Advice, noted.
Pale Blue Eyes by Velvet Underground
Bittersweetness at it’s best. Don’t think too much, just listen and sigh in acknowledgment.
Cuba Gooding Jr. by Long Long Long
Okay, we don’t have to say good-bye to summer yet right? One last bike ride through sunset Vancouver, as the city lights come on and you’re crossing the bridge to meet your friends downtown. Pink skies, dark blue water, mountains black, twinkling Granville island. Feel those drums as you pedal faster.
Almanac by The Acorn
Or you know, admit defeat and curl up by your window with a cappuccino in a giant mug, body sheltered in a blanket, watch the leaves start to fall in the Vancouver rain and read your favourite book. Sleep in till noon. Turn off your phone. No one will miss you. You know you need it.
Polish Girl by Neon Indian
Sometimes we just need to dance. Plus, it college Ted Mosby.