Lets break this megapost apart since I went off the grid this weekend due to disappearing to the island (Vancouver Island that is) on a spa weekend. Heated bathroom tiles, massage that made me drool and wine in the jacuzzi? Totally needed.
Last week was St. Patty’s day, and as per usual I couldn’t resist grabbing a pint downtown despite the madness of Granville Street, gross green food colouring and being hungover the next day at work. Alas, NONE of these things happened. I started my night grabbing dinner with my mom who was in town working for the week. There was a slight misunderstanding over broccolini which made my “Julia’s scale of needing a drink” rise to the above 10 level.
Julia's Drink Scale
I met up with Jordan and Aaron around 9:30ish and we began our walk down party street central downtown only to be hit with the obvious: ridiculous lineups and overpriced cover charges. We settled into The Sip, which on its regular nights is a tame lounge/martini bar. No green beer was ordered, we went straight for the Guinness and Jameson shots. Drew and Sean quickly joined and the night was heading exactly where it was supposed after many more shots of sweet Irish nectar. We began our walk to Ceilis for Irish Jig dancing, but when waiting in line I realized my phone was missing from my tiny purse. I groaned, realizing immediately I had left it at The Sip probably on our table. Classic Julia. I assured the boys I would be back in 10 minutes. Sean asked me twice if he needed me to come with, to which I replied, no. WORST.MISTAKE.OF.MY.LIFE.
See to further explain the following events and why they proceeded to SUCK, was that I was FLAT BROKE. An extremely rare occasion for Julia Niendorf, when there is less than 20$ in my account. Here is why. From the time I had to start paying bills of any sort, I’ve acquired a strange habit, which is to pay them all off the night before I get paid. This way with my pay cheque I’m at a fresh start with no debts/expenses to pay off immediately. I do this even though I know this means I might be penniless for the next 12 hours, which has never been a problem cause I’ll have my credit card or some spare cash in case I have to buy something. Not this time, I was waiting for a replacement credit card that was supposed to have arrived that day. Silly me for relying on a bank. Needless to say, I trekked through the now rowdier than ever Granville Street, having Vancouver Film Students follow me demanding that I buy them drinks because I was alumni and working in the industry, therefore I could afford it. It was like salt in the wound. YES, YES USUALLY I COULD BUY YOU DUMB-WITS SHOTS CAUSE THAT’S WHAT COOL ALUMNI DOES BUT RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE A FUCK UP SO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. I came back to the Sip searching high and low for my shitty little flip phone but NOTHING. The waitress sadly informed me no one found anything. Now I really needed a fucking drink. I went back to Ceilis and of course the bouncer laughed at my “you have to believe me, I have no phone or cash, please let me in to find my friends”. So I stood outside like an idiot for 20 minutes until a drunk clubgoer told me to lick his wrist to transfer his stamp onto mine. No thanks buddy. Also, bouncer has been watching me for 20 minutes. Instead, I told him to look for a tall gentleman with inexplicable luscious curly hair and wearing a Deutschland T-shirt. Within 2 minutes Jordan came out. AWESOME. He brought me in and attempted to use the ATM to get money for cover. No dice. His debt card suddenly had disappeared. So he grabs Drew from the dance floor who proclaimed “he will take care of it” (p.s my friends are amazing, I mean this sincerely from the bottom of my heart). He goes to put his debit card in the slot, only to discover Jordan’s missing one who forgot it there earlier (p.s my friends are awesome, that one was slightly sarcastic. Love you Jordan!!!). Either way, no debit card worked cause THE ATM THEN DECIDED TO BE OUT OF ORDER. Clearly this was a sign from the Gods for me to walk my now sober ass home so I left the boys to dance the night away (which ended up to be quite a mess but bro’ night on St. Patty’s tends to do that).
As I began to mentally get ready for my 20 minute walk home sober and shaking my head angrily at my misfortunes and why the hell I even came out in the first place, a determination of sorts set in. I AM NOT LEAVING DOWNTOWN WITHOUT MY FUCKING PHONE. There had to be one good thing about this. So I went back to the Sip once again. The waitress rolled her eyes at me, thinking it was hopeless. After more searching I went to the bathroom to empty my bladder and curse my destiny. I came out, now slouching in defeat, when:
I turned around to see an Angel, a man with a green t-shirt and baseball cap handing me my phone. I almost burst into tears. Straight up. He had found it on the table (like I thought) but kept it instead of giving it to staff (WHY, WHY). Since my phone reads “Julia Gulia” when flipped open, I had to be the Julia since I had been on the floor searching. I left elated and didn’t even think twice when I saw a drunk girl stumbling into her cab and proceeded to ask if I can hitch a ride. She was all “heelllzzz yeeaaahhhh” so I got home no walking needed kissing my little shit flip phone.
Get your hands on the movie The North Shore for some truly terrible dialogue and acting, but awesome surfing footage and one liners from the greatest character in an 80’s surf movie, Turtle.
“I tried to tell you man, nobody listens to Turtle”
Basically, a young wannabe art student from Arizona wants to be a pro surfer so he spends his summer before college at the North Shore where the locals are all “yo this is our land” and he befriends a wise old-school surfer who shows him how to be a soul surfer, and not some pro who rides the waves for contests and cash. Flawless, inspirational, true cinema, etc. Add it to your awesomely bad movies list, the quotes are unreal.
Finally, to those who love Community just as much as I do, head over to Troy’s, aka the amazingly funny Donald Glover, personal blog, HERE, and immediately check out his entry on performing at SXSW. It includes highlights like:
[…] and my first thought honestly was “Troy’s gonna kill this nigga.” Why did I see myself as Troy? Yes, I was wasted, but still what the fuck is wrong with me?
I'd tap it.
His food section is also amazing.
Just a few this week, unfortunately not much has inspired me this week.
Oh, Death! by Pearl and the Beard
Super intense, in a great way. This one caught me off guard as soon as the group vocals came in. Chilling. Dig it. Thanks Michael Viens for the heads up on these guys.
Weapons for War by A Lull
This is not for everyone, but if you are a fan of Animal Collective and electronica rock like me, this will be up your alley. Saw them open for Cold War Kids and any band with a three drummer set up wins my heart. The singer was douchey but whatever, their sound is infectious.
Hurdy Gurdy by Donovan
This song always makes me stop what I’m doing to enjoy the first minute. No matter how many listens. Definition of “an oldie, but a goody”.